The pain is fresh

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

We love you, Granddad. We miss you so much.

Granddad passed away on Thursday morning. It happened so fast; when the ambulance came, the medic told us that he was brain dead for ten minutes. When I touched him, he was cold. I knelt down by his side. I held his hand and kissed his forehead. I didn’t really know what to do next. He was there, but he was gone.

Everything after passed in a blur. There were so many things to do and settle; by evening, the wake was already set up. I was kept busy. I saw to everything else that my parents and aunts had not done. I kept vigil at nights. I refused to think of anything else other than the things that needed to be done.

But when I was alone, I thought of Granddad and I cried. I hated the tears, because I didn’t cry, and I didn’t want to.

I’m so guilty I didn’t accompany him more often. And now, I miss him so much.